Feb 23, 2018

Our little bear

1/9/2006 – 12/18/2016

You were one month shy of turning eleven years old when we had to say goodbye. Our years together were many but will never be enough. You were such a beautiful and sweet puppy from the start and I’ll never forget the four days I took off from work just to be with you.

You were so precious and tiny, you looked like a little fur ball. I remember your puppy breath and your little baby teeth too. I enjoyed watching you grow and spoiling you with the latest and greatest doggie wear; my furry fashionista.

I can still see the day you decided to play in the mud just hours after I PAID to have you groomed. It was a NON-hilarious moment at the time, but looking back now, I smile and realize it will be a sweet memory I will never forget.

You never really barked much so when you did it was a sound I really loved to hear. You were called “a gentle spirit.” A name given to you by my brother and rang true to your nature.

Isabella, you were a silly, sweet and inquisitive little girl and these qualities are what I miss the most about you. You were the daughter I always wanted, you just happened to have fur. It’s hard to imagine that I could love you this much but I did and still do and something only a true pet parent could understand.

I can’t believe that yesterday Dec 18th 2016 would be a year since you crossed over the rainbow bridge into Doggy Heaven. Your courageous battle against Canine Cancer broke my heart.

As we watched your health deteriorate I knew the time was nearing and we would have to make a decision to say goodbye. I struggled to make that call but knew I had to do it.

The moment I spoke to the receptionist I knew I had made the right choice. Her demeanor was gentle, reassuring and offered me such peace. She answered all my questions about the medications they would use, the time I would have and about the dignity to my special pup.

I wasn’t at all ready to make that dreadful decision then and there but I took great comfort in knowing that when that time came Caring Pathways would know my pup and that she wouldn’t be just another number, a fallen angel or a pup with blonde hair.

The time to say goodbye came a lot sooner than we expected and when we made that call on Dec 18th 2016 I prayed hard that God would send us a gentle and kind Veterinarian. Dr. Stacee Kim was our angel that day and exactly what we had prayed for. She let me hold my girl the entire time while she calmly explained the process. She gave us the time we needed to say our goodbye’s in the privacy of our little family and other pet while she patiently waited outside. And when the time came for Isabella to leave my arms forever she showed us where she would put her and how she would respectfully wrap her in a blanket and cart her away.

Yes it was extremely painful but I can’t imagine saying goodbye any other way. I promised my girl I would be there until the very end even though it would hurt like hell and Caring Pathways made it possible and with great dignity.

I wish we had been given more time on this earth with you. Time is something we can never get back. It slips through our hands like sand and like an old-fashioned hourglass when the sand runs out our time is up.

We were told that we had two to four more years with you and I was so hopeful but then devastated beyond belief when it was only 6 weeks. It took you so fast.

As the stages of grief and denial washed over me I kept asking the same question, “Why, why, why? Why us? Why my precious sweet Isabella, God? I couldn’t even talk about it for month’s because it hurt so much. Time is a wonderful healer though. It comforts the soul and prepares the heart and though It still hurts today and I still cry I know that you’re in a much better place.

Many times, I still doubt that we did the right things, gave you the right medications and if surgery was really the right choice? But, then deep in my heart I know that whatever method we chose to protect you it was driven by pure love, and the desire to hold onto you as long as we could.

Isabella, you will always be my sweet, sweet baby doll. “Baby doll” your daddy gave you that name and it fit you perfectly and I loved that! There were so many names for you my girl that I will hold deep in my heart.

It’s been a year since I held you in my arms and you took your last breath. We all still miss you so very much. Thank you for being a part of our lives and loving each of us unconditionally. Till we meet again at Heaven’s Gate sweet dreams my sweet, sweet girl.

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