‘Beck Beck’ started declining in health quickly one month, and after multiple urgent care visits and a stressful overnight ER visit, we discovered Beck was ridden with a type of stomach cancer that was untreatable. Beck hid his pain so well; he’d probably been living with it for a while and it went undetected in general wellness visits. Beck was always staying strong and stoic… We managed with medications at home during those final months, thinking he had chronic pancreatitis and IBS issues, until the fateful day an ER vet finally found his cancer and told me what would be the most ethical and humane, but heartbreaking decision. Beck hated clinics, and the option to say goodbye in our home was crucial to me.
Caring Pathways found a way to bump our appointment up because Beck’s time came rapidly, the day of his terminal diagnosis, and I was an emotional wreck! It was a holiday weekend, and all our regular clinics were closed or booked to capacity; I was panicking. The Caring Pathways Veterinarian was amazing. They kept me calm through a very tense and very time-sensitive passing for Beck. The follow-up care for ME as a newly, doubly-grieving cat mom (as Beck’s brother had only passed one year prior unexpectedly of a seizure at 18 years old in my arms) was extraordinary. The humane, loving care for Beck was great. I was so scared, but the Veterinarian helped me have a special goodbye, as I talked to Beck and they reassured me that Beck could hear me tell him I loved him as I held him and wished him a safe journey out of pain. Thank you, Caring Pathways, for telling me about pet loss grief groups, for validating my pain, understanding Beck’s pain, and for your aftercare for pet lovers, especially for the Liz Eastwood book recommendation… all of it.
Beck… I miss you. The way you loved to bat at and play with my hair, the way you almost barked/growled like a cat-dog, the way you loved to chase the feather dancers and laser lights—oh, the hours of play we had! The backflips you used to do! The way you raised your little paws for your treats! It’s taken me this long to even post your memorial because I’m still grieving so much. Beck, you were there for me right after my Father died last February. It’s like you stayed alive just to keep me alive. Beck, you soaked up my tears and curled into the nook of my arm, and knowing you’d be next to my head on the pillow every night and morning kept me hopeful and gave me strength to keep going another day. You were always my little light ginger golden boy, Beck. You truly kept ME alive after Omar died and my Daddy died. I cannot thank you enough. Cats don’t get enough credit for their loving devotion, and Beck, we were as hopelessly devoted to each other as we were to your brother, MoMo too. Thank you for being my everything, Beck. Thanks for riding the grief waves together with me. Thank you for teaching me to love again, Beck… and to forgive. You are forever in my heart, and I still sing our song to your photo and tickle your paw print on our altar daily. Beck Beck, my jellicle cat… I love you.
