The holiday season is often painted as a time of universal happiness and celebration. However, for those who have recently experienced the loss of a beloved pet, this time of year can feel like the opposite.
Whether you are currently in the process of saying goodbye or are navigating your first season without them, it is natural to feel overwhelmed while the rest of the world is celebrating. It is important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid and to allow yourself the space to mourn.
Written by: Mandi Browning, Caring Pathways Grief Support Specialist
Why Holiday Grief is Uniquely Challenging
Losing a pet is never easy, but the “Season of Cheer” adds specific layers of difficulty:
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Increased Social Pressure: There is an unspoken expectation to be “merry,” which can lead to guilt if you aren’t ready to celebrate or commit to social plans.
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The Weight of Traditions: Many holiday rituals: opening stockings, snowy walks, or family photos, are centered around our animal companions. Their absence in these moments can be a painful trigger.
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Missing a Family Member: To us, they aren’t “just pets”; they are family. Missing a family member during significant gatherings can feel emotionally intense and isolating.
Holding Space for Your Grief
Be kind to yourself and set realistic expectations. This year will be different, and that is okay. Your grief matters, and you have the right to hold space for it.
1. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve
Grief doesn’t pause for a holiday calendar. Whether you feel sad, angry, or simply numb, give yourself permission to feel it. If you need to skip a party or leave a gathering early, you have the right to do so.
2. It’s Okay to Switch Things Up
Some find comfort in keeping traditions exactly the same, while others find them too painful. Both are valid. You can change your decorations, modify your meal plans, or even change locations to take the pressure off.
3. Communicate Your Needs
Share your feelings with your support system—friends, family, or faith communities. Let them know if you need a hug, space, or simply someone to listen. It is okay to say, “I’m having a hard time this year and might not be able to participate in everything.”
4. Reach Out for Professional Support
Connecting with others who understand the specific pain of pet loss is vital. You don’t have to carry this weight alone.
Memorializing Your Pet This Season
Creating a memorial is a powerful way to hold space for your pet and keep their memory alive. The act of planning a tribute can be cathartic, allowing you to reminisce and honor the bond you shared.
| Activity | Description | When/Where |
|---|---|---|
| Create a Keepsake | Personalize an ornament or candle with a photo or paw print. | While decorating |
| Share Stories | Set aside time for family to share favorite memories. | During holiday meals |
| Light a Candle | Dedicate a specific candle to be lit in their honor. | Significant holiday nights |
| Make a Donation | Gift a tribute to an animal rescue in your pet's name. | Any day |
Expert Support for Your Journey
Meet Mandi, The Caring Pathways Grief Support Specialist
As our dedicated Grief Support Specialist serving all Caring Pathways markets, including the Colorado Front Range, Pittsburgh, Charlotte, and Virginia Beach, Mandi provides a bridge of compassion for families. With a deep understanding of the human-animal bond, she ensures our care extends far beyond the final appointment.
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Email Mandi:
mandi@caringpathways.com -
Additional Resources: Caring Pathways Grief Support Resources
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal to feel depressed about a pet’s death when others are celebrating?
Absolutely. Grief does not follow a calendar. The contrast between your internal pain and the external “holiday cheer” can make your loss feel more acute. This is a common experience, and your feelings are completely valid.
How do I tell friends and family I’m not up for holiday events?
Honesty and boundaries are key. It is okay to say: “I’m still processing my loss and don’t feel up to a big gathering this year. I appreciate your invitation and hope you understand I need some quiet time.”
What is the best way to honor a pet who passed away recently?
There is no “best” way, only the way that feels right for you. Whether it’s lighting a candle, making a donation in their name, or looking through old photos, the act of intentional remembering is a vital part of the healing process.